Mar 302014
 
Bullsh#t only begins to express the pain I feel.

Bullsh#t only begins to express the pain I feel.

I’ve increasingly become a fan of Yoga. Not the weird arse hand holding, chanting, kale eating shit (previous experience) but the basic stretching classes that help me lengthen my abnormally tight muscles.

I’ve got a buddy who’s more orientated towards the social aspects of Yoga (trying to bang hot chicks) who put me on to it a few years ago. He’s pretty flexible and finds it hilarious that my muscles and tendons have about as much give as parachute landing on tarmac. Check out the picture he sent me… such an asshole.

The sad thing is it’s a true representation of my Yoga experiences. I can’t reach my toes for shit. Forty year old housewives wipe the floor with me when it comes to downward facing dog. For me it’s like downward facing drop kick. By the end of the class I’m sweating like a Jihadist at a women’s rights convention..

In all seriousness though, Yoga is the bomb if, like me, you’ve spent years abusing your body. Static line parachuting, obstacle courses, humping huge amounts of crap, jumping out of helicopters, trucks and boats all take a serious toll on your joints and muscles. Yoga definitely helps release the pressure and build the strength back up. I recommend it to all the former service persons who’ve treated their bodies like a playground through their twenties.

For those of you that think it degrades their masculinity, you’re probably right. But at the end of the day you’re in a room filled with women in lycra who take their bodies seriously. Ain’t nothing bad about that.

JS

PS. Just like my hamstrings PRIMAL Fury has been released.

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