Mar 242015
 
These people are fucktards!

These people are fucktards!

I’ve got a buddy who swears by superfoods. So much so that he’s calling himself the Superfood Warrior and trying to change the way people consume food. And, while I find that admirable, I’m pretty skeptical of the whole movement. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in superfoods,  just not kale and acai berries. For me superfoods are coffee, steak, and milk. I mean, they make you massive and keep you awake, that’s pretty damn super. Anyway, my buddy convinced me that a breakfast smoothie would be a helpful addition to my diet, especially if it contained some basic superfoods like bananas, blueberries, brazil nuts, and some other seed-like crap that parrots eat.

26BD67E800000578-0-image-a-30_1426677510414

Kale – designer vegetables for designer dickheads!

OK, I was a little dubious but there was no mention of kale or any other hipster shit so I thought, why not? I blended up all that stuff with a pint of milk, two scoops of protein powder, and a fist full of oats, and low and behold it tasted pretty damn good. Not to mention it kept me going till lunch without my usual raiding of the fridge.

Now, I’m not saying that I’m going to superfood smoothie every day, far from it. Bacon, eggs, and pancakes are still going to make a regular appearance on my plate. And, I’m not about to start drinking  green ‘spew’elina shit out of a mason jar and riding a fixie. But, my buddy the Superfood Warrior may be on to something with his nutrient dense breakfast smoothie. It may just keep the scurvy at bay and it sure as shit is better than ninety percent of the crap people eat for breakfast. I’d prefer to piss in my own eye than spoon Captain Crunch into my mouth.

So PRIMAL heavy hitters, get a smoothie in yah!

JS out.

PS. Remember to sign up to the PRIMAL Intel database so I can let you know when the next book is out.