I’ve been hearing the term Toxic Masculinity being thrown around for a while now. People have been using it to define undesirable or damaging masculine traits that have a negative impact on the people around them. Traits like, stoicism, aggression, competitiveness and dominance.
I’m calling b@llshit on the theory of Toxic Masculinity. Not because I don’t think that aspects of these attributes can be negative, they can, but because they’re used as an excuse for being a f#ckwit.
There is nothing wrong with having ‘masculine’ attributes. I’ve met plenty of women who would argue, successfully, that they’re not exclusive to men. In fact these attributes are highly sought after in both the competitive workplace and the military. Jocko Willink has written a great opinion piece on exactly that.
What the term Toxic Masculinity does is give some semblance of an excuse to the f#ckwits of the world. It takes something intensely personal, your own actions, and paints over it with broad sweeping generalizations.
There is only one attribute that real men…no scrub that, a real human, must have, and that is accountability. You alone are responsible for your actions and those actions are what define the real you. If you’re overly aggressive and dominant at work you’re not displaying Toxic Masculinity, you’re being a f#ckwit and you need to check yourself.
You can be anything you want to be. You can have whatever traits you want. How you treat the people around you is what’s going to define you. You get one chance. Try not to act like a f#ckwit.