Oct 112015

I recently read an article that’s getting a lot of traction on the web regarding the amount of Toyota Hiluxs that ISIS is banging around in. Allegedly the US Government is pissy with Toyota because somehow this is their fault. Seriously, it’s like they don’t understand the basic principles of a free market. People give Toyota money in exchange for cars. Then these people sell the cars to other people and before long they’re in the hands of ISIS, the Taliban, Boko Haram, and every other black flag waving dickhead. The real question is why do the world’s worst choose the Toyota Hilux over every other option?

That question’s easy to answer… it’s because Toyotas are built Taliban Tough. No shit I’ve seen Hiluxs take punishment that other pickups simply can’t. They’ve been strafed by miniguns, blasted by Hellfire missiles, and still keep rolling.

The Taliban Love Their TOYOTA's

The Taliban Love Their TOYOTAs

Not only does the Hilux reign supreme in the Middle East it also thrives in the harshest place in the world… Australia. Aussies are notoriously hard on their pickups and the Toyota truck is the highest selling vehicle on the market. Farmers in OZ treat these trucks with even more disrespect than the Taliban.

Don’t belive me that these things are tough? Then check out this series of torture tests that the team at Top Gear put one through.

All this evidence makes it pretty easy to see why ISIS want to drive Hiluxs. They’re cheap, they go hard, and they’re pretty much indestructible. However, if ISIS wants real street cred they need to start getting around in VW diesel Polos and Golfs. They’re not only tough but they’re also polluting the world at 10 times the rate of other cars… eco-terrorism at its best.

Jun 292012

Awesome graphics in the Indie game RESET!

I wear the badge of an Indie author with pride, why? Because it shows that despite numerous set backs, disappointments, and rejections I backed myself. But I’m not the only one out there trying to forge their way in a world usually dominated by the big corporates. Plenty of other Indie artists are doing it way tougher than I am. Yeah I put a lot of time into the PRIMAL books but I haven’t had to mortgage a house to buy equipment or pay for other people’s skills. Musicians, game developers and film makers are the real heroes of Indie. They have a vision, a dream, an idea and they put it all on the line to share it with the world. That takes a set of balls that most of the big production firms simply don’t have.

Whilst perusing one of my favourite sites, Gizmag, I stumbled on a clip for some of the work that a small, two man, gaming outfit is doing. I was blown away by the graphics in the ‘RESET‘ trailer and the overall quality of their work. If you get a chance to check it out you will be seriously impressed. With this sort of talent backing their own products we are in for some serious Indie awesomeness in the next few years.

A buddy of mine has recently finished working on his own Indie action film, Contract Killers. Filmed on a shoe string budget in New Zealand, better known for Hobbits, Orcs and the All Blacks, Michael and his team have put together a pretty cool product. Gotta remember that these guys are working with a tiny fraction of Hollywood’s budget so it’s not quite a James Cameron blockbuster. I’m looking forward to working with him in the future to put together another PRIMAL short film. You can check out their work here, and there is the opportunity to help them out with a bit of cash to finish the film.

Indie film - Contract Killers

I think the most important component of the Indie community are the people willing to give Indie artists a chance. Without support and an engaged audience Indie productions are destined to fail. By virtue of the fact that you’re reading this blog I know you’re an Indie supporter. PRIMAL’s all about the little man and that’s what being Indie is all about, the little man standing up from the crowd and chasing a dream. 

This may well be my first profanity free post….. that can’t last.



Jun 112012

Charlize in a body suit.......sold!

When I heard that Ridley Scott had stepped back up to the plate and cranked out Prometheus, another movie in the Aliens saga, I had to see it. Now I’m not a hardcore fan of the series, I don’t dress up in a Marine rig and run around COSPLAY conventions screaming “Game over, man!” or anything like that. I’m a big fan of the original movies staring Sigourney Weaver as Ripley. The first one came out before I was born and I remember it scaring the shit out of me when my old man finally let me watch it; he had a thing for Sigourney.  I’m also a huge fan of the original Predator film, but when some fucktard decided to merge the two brands they lost me. They took a cool concept and trashed it with a heavy dose of crappy acting and cheesey dialogue. Pity, because the computer game of the same name was sinister as hell.

Alien Penis

Purple Headed Alien Acid Slinger

Anyway back to Prometheus. If I was to sum it up in one expression it would be ‘WHAT THE FUCK?’. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the flick. It had some seriously tense scenes. However, it asked more questions than it ever came close to answering. In fact at the start of the movie I was thinking WTF mate, but by the end I was thinking WHAT THE ,WHAT THE FUCK! It had all the components of an Aliens movie; I mean, it even had a Bishop-esqe robot called David. But it just didn’t seem to add up and I’m not even going to try to delve into the Creationism / Darwinism conflicts, that shit is a little too serious for me.

The thing I loved about the original Alien was the characters. The scientists were normal everyday guys who had to deal with a bunch of acid spitting Aliens. The scientists in Prometheus are epic douche bags. They deserve to die. When one of them reaches out to pat the giant alien penis slug I wanted it to kill him. Any retard who tries to pat an alien penis slug deserves to have it dive down his throat, right? I was happy to see him go, along with the rest of the other over-dramatized losers. The douche bag scientists are balanced somewhat by a couple of hangers-on. Charlize Theron’s character brings nothing to the plot other than a smoking hot frame in a jump suit – winning! Even the Captain of the ship is a bit of a nobody. By far the strongest character, and the guy who holds up the whole film, is the robot David. Fassbender slams home an epic performance that matches, even surpasses the original Bishop (not the PRIMAL one).

Regardless of the above bitching, Prometheus is reasonably entertaining. It’s classic Ridley Scott; eerie tension with an intelligent use of special effects and CGI to enhance to the storyline. Unlike most of the crap at the movies it doesn’t rely on huge explosions to get it across the line. Just don’t go to the movie thinking you’re going to come away from it with any level of understanding as to how it fits into the whole Aliens saga.